While many will not experience these steps in a linear course, the following steps capture essential components of the coming out process. These steps are not necessarily mutually exclusive and can be experienced simultaneously. For example other theorists have said that it is not uncommon for people go back and forth in their sexual identity development.Step One: Identity Confusion.“Who am I?” is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships. Sanders but I am Vic or Vicki on a day-to-day basis and Victoria in professional situations. Do you go by Robert or Bob or what?’ ‘My cards and signature are always Robert but Bob is just fine for day-to-day use.’ ‘Great, I am not a formal person except when I need to be. Normally, I would wear something more casual than this but they said that I needed to make an impression on you today. Are you impressed?’ ‘Impressed? Yes. Also surprised.’ ‘Surprised?’ ‘They told me that you were Vick Sanders and I was expecting to impress a man. So I am having to regroup a little to see if I can impress a woman.’ ‘Ah yeah, that crap. In the investment world, people still trust a man more than a woman, so I don’t discourage people from thinking I am a man until we meet in person. I hope that this doesn’t discourage you. Can you work for a woman?’ ‘If you know what you are doing, I can work for you, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter anyway.’ ‘I like that answer. So tell me how you can impress me.’.
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